Shane Thevenot

As we grow old our need for community, leisure and love does not age. At a community centre in a largely English-speaking suburb of Montreal, there is an adult drop-in program where seniors can go to enjoy company and entertainment. There are games, exercises, sometimes drama therapy, and often dancing. The only requirement is that the senior has a caregiver. The purpose in mind during the founding of the drop-in centre was not only to fulfill the need for recreation, but also to give caregivers some respite. It is a time for them to relax while their loved ones are in the hands of the staff and volunteers at the centre. The program is funded by a grant until April 30, 2019. At this time no one knows what is going to happen after that.   Since the centre opened in August, 2016 Erica Botner has been the program manager and a part-time supervisor. She took the opportunity shortly after a similar program closed due to a government funding redistribution. Tristan McElheron is one of the full time staff at the program. He is a recreational therapy practitioner. For him, the threat of budget cuts is an all too familiar song. He sees constant cutbacks in the health sector, and finds that a lot of people do not know what recreation therapy is so it is often one of the first programs to get cut, he says. Having worked in a facility where the workers are too busy to meet people's need for fun, he sees the place where recreational therapists fit. People need so much more than just their survival needs met. "You find out what their stories are," Tristan says, and in doing so he feels as though he is validating their lives and their backgrounds.

Bob started losing his memory nearly five years ago. His wife, Marilyn, has been his primary caregiver ever since. 

Over the years Marilyn has been so active at the centre that she is now recognized as a volunteer.

At eight o’clock in the morning Marilyn making breakfast for her husband. She did not sleep well that night as Bob was up and down out of bed.

She makes lunches as Bob has breakfast. Today they are getting ready to go to the adult drop-in centre.  Bob and Marilyn go practically every Monday and Thursday.

She helps Bob to shave. Bob brushes his teeth and his hair but leaves Marilyn to do the finishing touches. When Bob was younger he was the kind of man who would take a shower in the morning, and come home and take a bath.

A frigid draft comes through their bedroom window. They stuff the windowsill with blankets to block the cold. Marilyn makes the bed, Bob helps by smoothing out the sheets.

Marilyn puts in Bob's hearing aid every morning. She also does her own make up and gets herself ready. Though caregiving is not void of rewards, it presents its own set of challenges. Marilyn has to work double hard to take care of him and herself.

"If it was the reverse he would be there for me till the end I know it," Marilyn says. "That's the type of guy he was— he is."

Always eager to help. Bob's morning job is to take the trash out. He sends it down a chute installed in a closet a few steps down the hallway in the apartment building where they live.  

She helps him put on his winter wardrobe. The cold of Montreal in December calls for hats, toques, and warm coats.

A taxi service comes to pick them up. They never know if the taxi will be on time. Today it is.

Their apartment is only a few minutes drive to the drop-in centre. This is very important for them. Marilyn worries if the current program were to shut down or move that the commute would make it difficult to attend.

Transportation is a concern for people with reduced mobility. Just the act of getting in and out of vehicles has to be done with caution.

When they get to the centre they are welcomed with friends and coffee or hot chocolate. The two full time staff, Tristan and Faye, have already planned the day and volunteers are there to assist.

Marilyn does not have to stay there with Bob…

But she often does anyway.

Though sometimes she goes out with her friends, or to the library. Sometimes, she says, she just takes time for herself.

"We're blessed with this," Marilyn says, "Because it's keeping my sanity."

Bob stretches his arm in front of him, as though swimming in a front crawl. Tristan leads the morning exercises. Stand up. Sit down. March in place. There is nothing pretentious about the work out. It is meant to be age-appropriate.

With the support they get from the drop-in centre, Marilyn notices how it has changed her husband. She says he is eating much better; he is more alert and more independent.

"I find a big difference, and I also find a big difference in all the people that are coming there. From the time they started, last year, until now. It's a huge difference," Marilyn says. "They're alive again."

After lunch the games begin. Today they play Bingo, where the dots have to make an 'X' shape on the card. Bob wins the first round. A collection of dollar-store prizes is available for Bob to choose from. Marilyn helps him choose a magnifying glass.

The tables go down and the chairs part for bowling. Five red pins stand in the line of fire. Bob throws the bowling ball and knocks down four of them. Marilyn also plays.

"Yeah," Bob replies. "I always do."